IAstartov

I wish I could tell everything, But I have no right words: I’ve lost all I knew. How to shape all you feel So they can understand? What I feel? Am I failed? Days go past away. Something eats my time. I don’t know what I want, I don’t know who I am. I’ll soon really fall in the pit of doom, Stasis of grief and despair. Where I am? Is today is today? Or tomorrow, or yesterday? Where I’ll come? Where to turn? There’s no answers for me. I don’t know what to tell.

Everything changes, everything flows. Everything dies, everything borns. I use back eddies to achieve my goals, But what will I leave from all of it? None. My accomplishments are nothing in the time flow, Though I still struggling or I become bored Until the end of my days, when its date - I don't know, Until the end of the days, when everything is gone.

I can’t forget how you looked at me once. Though not able to recall, to describe it, I’ll understand at the moment, beheld: Piercing with tender and love Your look called me to seek the way there, Where I thought I never could be.

The crowd is a beast that crawls on the streets, People swarms in the honeycombs of buildings; I hear how snake-like faucet hiss, My neighbors staring at their muttering television. My memory throws a picture by picture, Bristling with events, thus making me amazed; Some words, woven from the scraps of talking, At my weakened mind like a thread interlace. Cables and wires, straying, creep throughout apartments Through the narrow arches of the furniture legs; There are loud cries of agony under my windows From the people clutched to the ideals of ancient. And the rain pours tapping on this world with acid, It erodes to oblivion al

Day by day I plunge deeper Into the abyss of thoughts and desires, Flickering dreams. Drowning inside, horrified, Yet, at the same time, enjoying, Captured by this wonderful world Where at past I lived a lot, Sheltering from murmurs of others Behind a wall.

I am bad at speaking, I am bad at talking: My mind too long seeking True words worth be spoken.

There’s life, there’s death, Walking near each other – Grief and happiness.

I wonder if I really know someone: Sometimes we see each other different, And you imagine other man, Your dreams, your wishes – not the real. Regrets and sorrow – things you’ve met When world around fell in ruins: It’s all because you thrown away Your vision that you found amusing. And you feel emptiness this time, There’s nothing left behind that story, You’re seeking something new to find And place that thing instead of fallen. How everything can come so strange? I often struggle with the guessing, And answer slips throughout my head – I try to catch but always missing.